Self-care during menopause

Self-care should, of course, be part of everyone’s life irrespective of gender, age or stage of life, and is something that women and carers seem to find particularly difficult to give time to.

During menopause, though, self-care becomes even more important. Not only are our bodies going through a significant change and all that brings, but it also happens at a time when women are often coping with lots of other things – work, children, a caring role. Menopause layers itself on top, and often means that self-care drops to the bottom of the list.

There is a saying: ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’. So true! Unless you take care of yourself first, you are not in a position to do all the things you have to do.

Menopause and Me

So, what sort of things can we do to refill our cup? These are a few suggestions:

  • I think one of the hardest things is actually to find ‘space’ in our week for self-care. I make sure that for each week I pencil out at least one afternoon that is just for me – no work, no house tasks – and I try very hard to make sure nothing parachutes into that space. Give it a try.
  • A spa break is a great way of refilling your cup. Or, if time or finances make this difficult, try a home ‘spa’ – things like a relaxing bath with candles or diffused oils, moisturiser for your whole body, and a treatment for those nails!
  • Practise mindfulness. Not always an easy thing to do, but trying to be present in the moment and enjoying the moment to the full. There are people trained to help you practise the art of mindfulness if this is something you think you would like to try.
  • Yoga – can have physical, mental and cognitive benefits
  • Breathwork – helps to manage stress and anxiety
  • Holistic therapies are great for relaxation and increasing your wellbeing. There are lots to choose from including full body massage, facials, Indian Head massage, reflexology
  • Personal treatments like having your hair done or having your nails done all really help the way we feel about ourselves
  • Relaxation exercises
  • Meditations – help us to manage stress, increase our self-awareness, help us to focus on the present and reduce our negative emotions
  • Keeping a ‘Pre-Sleep’ journal – writing out anxious thoughts and letting them go
  • Keeping a ‘Gratitude Diary’ – picking out at least one thing from each day to be grateful for
  • Spending time with a friend. Just simply having a coffee and a chat with a friend can really lift spirits
  • Sitting in the park or the garden – being around nature is great for mental health
  • Going for a walk – this has the double benefits of being outside and also getting exercise
  • Watching a film or reading a book – both perfect ways to escape
  • Pursuing an existing hobby or taking up a new hobby
  • Essential oils have many benefits, whether used in a diffuser or used topically. There are lots of people who can guide you in what are the best oils to use, and there are some oils that offer help for menopausal symptoms
  • Eating healthily – taking in lots of calcium from dairy products or dark leafy greens to keep bones strong
  • Exercising
  • Getting good quality sleep and rest

The list could go on, but if I was asked for my top tips around self-care, this is what they would be:

  • Protect your self – care time. When you have decided when your self- care time will be, guard it against things parachuting in as much as you can
  • Find what you most enjoy. You can’t do everything, so if you choose the things that you really enjoy, you are more likely to find the time to do them
  • Accept that we cannot always be everything to everyone and that sometimes it’s ok to say no and to put ourselves first
  • Lose the guilt of spending time on you – my feeling is that self-care is not just a nice thing to do, but that it’s essential!

Menopause and Me

Why don’t they talk to me?

Menopause is gradually being talked about more openly, and businesses are beginning to be more aware of, and to understand, the reasons why they should look to support their female employees at this stage of their lives.

However, some female employees don’t discuss with their manager how they are feeling, what is happening to them and what could help them.

Why is this?

 

Menopause and Me

There are several reasons why a female employee may choose not to speak to her manager:

  • She may be concerned that her manager will link her situation to performance, and expect her performance to deteriorate because of what she is experiencing
  • She may be embarrassed and fearful of being on the receiving  end of jokes
  • She may fear that disclosure will affect her promotion opportunities
  • She may fear being stereo-typed. Women are all individuals and will go through menopause in an individual way. What one woman experiences may not be experienced by another. What one woman may need to make her life easier at this stage, may not be what is needed by another. However, limited understanding and awareness of menopause and its impact, can mean all women at this stage of life are simply labelled as ‘menopausal’ and depicted as holding fans and getting angry
  • Having a male line manager or a younger female line manager may make a woman feel that she will not be understood as she will be outside of their experience
  • Being in a male-dominated occupation could cause a woman to feel that disclosing that she is going through the menopause will be seen as a weakness and put her at a disadvantage
  • She may believe that menopause is inappropriate to discuss at work, particularly if the culture of the organisation is one of leaving your personal life at the door

Many more businesses are becoming menopause friendly now, but there is still a way to go, and the manager/employee relationship is a crucial one in ensuring that a business can retain the skills and experiences of women who are at this stage of life.

The more menopause is talked about, the better it is for everyone, and being aware of some of the reasons why your female employees may not choose to talk to you about this, is very important.

What’s the big deal about menopause for businesses

There is so much going on for businesses at present – financial struggles, supporting a workforce that is spread about, needing to be mindful of the mental health of staff during these times. So why on earth – on top of all that – should a business need to consider menopause? Surely, it’s not that big a deal?

Well, the answer is, it absolutely can be. We need to face the facts:

  • Menopause will affect everyone at some point – half the population directly (women), half indirectly (male partners, friends, managers, colleagues)
  • Menopausal women are the fastest growing demographic in the workforce. A study from Nottingham University showed that around 75%-80%of women of menopausal age are in work, which means there are over 3.5 million women of menopausal age in the UK workforce
  • Research commissioned in 2019 showed 14 million working days are lost each year through menopause related absences
  • Menopause, is, of course, individual. Some women will go through the menopause with no problems at all, and we have had businesses say that menopause is not an issue for them. However, statistics show that 3 out of every 4 women will have symptoms, and for 1 out of those 3 the symptoms will be severe and debilitating.

So rather than it being the case that menopause is not an issue, it is probably more the case that a business is not aware of the issue. Many female employees choose not to share that they are in the menopause, even with their direct line managers. There can be many reasons for this, ranging from embarrassment and fear of being stereotyped, to concern that their situation will be linked to performance, right through to fear that it might affect promotion opportunities etc.

In a survey of 1,000 women aged 45 or over carried out in 2019, 63% said the symptoms of menopause had impacted their work. In the same survey, 90% said their workplace offered no support.

So, could it be more of a deal than you think?

 

Menopause and Me

It is true it is yet another thing for businesses to think about, but we feel menopause should be firmly in the wellbeing agenda – more so, rather than less so, in these anxious, difficult times we are living through.

Support for menopausal women in the workforce, as well as being standard good management practice, also makes good economic sense. Support can reduce sick leave, improve performance and motivation, increase engagement and increase retention of staff who may look to leave their jobs if symptoms become difficult to manage. Which of course leads in turn to loss of skills and experience and the additional cost of recruitment.

There are many things businesses can do to support female staff going through the menopause, and most of the things are relatively simple and inexpensive to implement, being much more about awareness than physical cost.

So, if you feel menopause is a deal for your business, can you afford not to become menopause friendly?

Do please get in touch if you feel Menopause and Me! can help

Menopause and Me

Living well with Menopause

Are you going through the menopause but also working? If so, you are in very good company. 75-80% of women living with the menopause are in work. Although menopause is a natural stage of life, it can cause issues, and for one out of every four women those issues can be severe and debilitating, and can impact negatively on their work.

14 million working days are lost each year through menopausal related absences, and some women actually go as far as leaving their role because their symptoms become too difficult to handle within the workplace. Yet despite these statistics, a study carried out by Forthwithlife in 2019 reported that 90% of women said their workplaces offered no support to women in the menopause.

If this is your experience, try talking with a manager you think might be open to this, and explain how you are feeling and what might help you to cope more easily. The changes that need to happen can be simple and inexpensive. Often a raised awareness of the subject, and an opportunity to access both formal and informal sources of support can make a huge difference.

Menopause in the workplace Northamptonshire

The last team that I managed had several women going through the menopause, and I found that setting up a support group – where staff could come together, talk openly about menopause and support each other – worked really well, and sometimes made the difference between someone being able to continue in their role and walking away.

Whether or not you are working, self-care is also very important for women living with the menopause. Making sure that you have times when you can put yourself first and step away from everything else is essential. Just a bit of time to focus on you – to relax and to do something you really enjoy doing – can give such a boost. Focussing on ways of improving sleep, diet and exercise can all help with feelings of wellbeing.

Peer support is also very important. However supportive partners might be, this stage of life can feel quite isolating. It is easy to feel that we are alone, and no-one else is experiencing what we are. It’s true that everyone experiences menopause in their own way, but nevertheless there are common symptoms and feelings. So really there is no better way to combat feelings of isolation than to share what is happening to us with female friends. Simply talking and sharing can make us feel so much better. Peer support also gives us an opportunity to share ideas, tips and hints and gives us support through the bad days.  I had a good friend, also going through the menopause, who helped me through some of my bad days – we laughed together, cried together, and finished each other’s sentences when we were groping for words!

So, the message really is – don’t suffer alone! If you are having a tough time with the menopause, reach out. There are people who can help, and there are things you can try that will help you live well in this stage of life.

At Menopause and Me, we are passionate about helping women to live well at this time.

We can offer:

  • Help to your workplace to enable them to become more ‘menopause friendly’
  • A Talk shop to give individual women an opportunity to talk openly about the menopause, to share ideas and gain support
  • Individual support sessions
  • Resilience training for individuals/Team Leaders.

Do please contact us if you would like to talk through how we might be able to help. We would love to hear from you.

In the meantime –

Happy World Menopause Day!!

Why is Peer support so important in the Menopause?

 

 

 

Menopause as a subject is less taboo now than it used to be, but there are still very few opportunities for women to come together and talk openly about Menopause. Yet peer support is so important. Why is this?

However supportive partners might be, this stage of life can feel quite isolating. It is easy to feel that we are alone, and no-one else is experiencing what we are. It’s true that everyone experiences Menopause in their own way, but nevertheless there are common symptoms and feelings. So really there is no better way to combat feelings of isolation than to share what is happening to us with female friends. Simply talking and sharing can make us feel so much better.

Peer support also gives an opportunity for women to share ideas, tips and hints. What works for one woman may not necessarily work for another. What is right for one woman may not necessarily be right for another. However, the experts in Menopause are the women going through this stage of life, and the sharing of ideas, tips and hints always means there is a chance a woman will stumble across something that can make a huge difference to how she is feeling.

Peer support also offers women support – it’s in the title! Support can make the difference between an individual being able to cope or not. If a woman is having a bad day with the Menopause, just knowing there is someone she can call and chat with, makes such a difference. This is why a Menopause friendly workforce is so important. Some women do not like sharing with their Manager that they are going through the Menopause. There are several possible reasons for this, but the main ones are embarrassment or concern that their Manager will overlook them for promotion or increased responsibility. Having a female ‘Menopause Champion’ in the workforce – someone women can go to and discuss their symptoms and  – not only really helps but can sometimes make the difference between a woman leaving her job or staying.

Menopause and Me

At Menopause and me, we offer something called a Talk Shop, which gives women an opportunity for Peer Support. We look at facts about Menopause, at symptoms and at Tips and Hints for living well with Menopause. Most importantly, though, it gives women an opportunity to talk openly, to share ideas and to gain support. The Talk shop routinely runs for six two-hour sessions, either in the workplace or in a community group, but is flexible enough to fit whatever timescale is preferred. We can also offer a Talk shop for men which routinely runs for three sessions.

The benefits for women attending the Talk shop include:

  • An opportunity for women to talk openly about Menopause in a safe, relaxed environment
  • A chance to focus on the main symptoms of Menopause
  • Gaining support and sharing ideas
  • Not feeling alone and ‘The only one’
  • Building a network
  • Moving forward

Whether you are an employer looking for Peer support for your female employees, or an individual woman who feels you might benefit from the Talk Shop, do please contact us if you would like to discuss this further. We would love to hear from you.

Menopause friendly businesses

 

 

 

 

Menopausal women are the fastest growing demographic in the workplace. We can expect that up to 47% of the UK workforce will experience Menopause during their working lives. There are so many reasons why a Business should look to support its female employees who are at this stage of their lives.

These reasons include:

  • Increasing retention of staff who may look to leave their jobs if symptoms become difficult to manage
  • Reducing sick leave and presenteeism
  • Improving performance and motivation
  • Increasing engagement
  • Reducing employee related HR issues

 

Menopause and Me

Three out of every four women experience symptoms, and for one of those three the symptoms will be severe and debilitating. So, although menopause is a natural stage of life, and not an illness, it can cause issues.

Symptoms of Menopause can impact certain skills and abilities such as:

  • Time Management
  • Emotional resilience
  • Ability to complete tasks effectively
  • Teamwork
  • Self confidence
  • Ability to make decisions
  • Ability to concentrate

 

Menopause and Me

So, what can employers do to become Menopause friendly? Things to consider include:

  • Awareness raising
  • Training for key stakeholders
  • Having a Menopause ‘Champion’
  • Providing information about coping with menopause at work
  • Ensuring better control over temperature and ventilation
  • Better access to informal sources of support, such as women’s networks or Talk shops
  • Increased flexibility of working hours and working arrangements
  • Ensuring that policies relating to sickness absence, flexible working and Health and Wellbeing include Menopause
  • Environmental changes
  • Reduction of workload
  • Capacity to rearrange formal meetings or presentations
  • Allowing breaks where needed

Menopause and Me

Research has shown that the Menopause is still treated as a ‘Taboo’ subject in many workplaces and more needs to be done to support women at this stage of life. However, the changes that need to happen can be quite simple and inexpensive. Often a raised awareness of the subject, and an opportunity for women to access both formal and informal sources of support, can in themselves make a huge difference. A ‘Menopause friendly’ business will retain happy staff who feel supported and acknowledged, and who in return will continue to feel committed to, and engaged with, their work role.

Menopause and Me! can help with your move to become Menopause friendly. We offer a free survey to look at your baseline position with Menopause. We can then work with you to provide a ‘Managing Menopause in your workforce’ workshop, and a Talk shop to give individual women an opportunity to talk openly about the Menopause, share ideas and gain support. Do please contact us if you’d like to discuss this further. We look forward to hearing from you.